You know, being Mom is hard.
The most rewarding job in the universe, of this there is no doubt, but some days going to work sucks. Some days you mentally count down the minutes to when bedtime rolls around. Some days you tell yourself you are 24 hours closer to having all your kids in school.
Then, the day comes for them to get on the bus for kindergarten, and you’re actually sad. How can this be? I am here to tell you it is true, this will happen. You may have a calendar hidden in your closet for the sole purpose of “Xing” out the days until your kids start school full time and you can eat lunch alone, but when that day comes, you will feel alone instead.
I mean, I am not saying you won’t enjoy the silence, you will, but after a couple hours it will get to you a bit.
This happened to me this week.
Well, not the eating lunch alone bit, because I still have two small kids to get to school age, but the putting my son on the bus bit. My second son, Logan, is my biggest challenge. He never stops talking to me, he is stubborn and persistent. In a word, he is exhausting. I swear, I have been counting down the days to when this kid would start kindergarten since I was in labor. So, yesterday he started school. He got up excited, and put on his new clothes. He ate breakfast with his older brother and talked endlessly about nothing in particular. Shoes and backpacks were put on and out the door they went with Dad to go to school.
Rob drove them and walked them in for the first day, and he said that Logan did not even whimper. I was so proud of him, and then an odd feeling starting coming over me. My baby was growing up.
You may be wondering why I say “baby,” when I’ve made it clear he is the second of four kids. Maybe because I thought he would be the last of my kids when I had him. Maybe it’s because, until Eddie came along, he was my “baby” boy because our third was a girl. Seeing him go to school was harder than watching my oldest set off to kindergarten.
My daughter, MJ, is headed to her first year of pre-school this week, so three days a week I will just have little Eddie with me. I will enjoy this one-on-one time with him and play and laugh, because before I know it, he’ll be in kindergarten. I used to say that I couldn’t wait for my 40th birthday because that is when all my kids will be in school. Now, I’m not so sure. I dream of it every day around 4 p.m. when the witching hour hits, but when it actually happens, I may just be one of those moms at the boo-hoo breakfast.