Why can’t holiday wishes be simpler?

December 10, 2013 

It’s crunch time. And I’m not talking peppermint candy canes. I’m talking about the time of year when everyone is crunched for time.

There’s shopping, wrapping, cleaning, decorating, party planning and partying, not to mention eating, sleeping and doing the laundry.

How does Santa do it all? Just planning that worldwide trip is time consuming enough; I’m thinking Mrs. Claus handles most of it. And let’s not forget the elves.

But there’s one job that Santa can’t get out of, and that’s dress up and show up. He must venture out and take note of all the children’s wishes.

This year, I’m thinking Santa will have to enforce a time limit on the lap time. I envision something like this.

Santa says, “Have you been good?”

“Yes,” squeals the child. “I would like a, My Little Pony Equestria Girls Set Canterlot High Pep Rally featuring Vice Principal Luna. And a…”

“Ooops. Sorry.” Santa says. “Times up. Neeeeeeext.”

And that’s when Santa nudges the child towards the elf.

Seriously. Have you seen the names of these toys? The Imaginarium Mountain Rock Train Table, the Lalaloopsy Loopy Hair Doll, and the Thomas & Friends All Around Sodor Interactive Train Set.

Can a four-year-old even remember that?

And why does the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle have to be identified as such? He’s a mutant. He can turn into a teenager whenever he wants.

Speaking of ninja, anyone want the NINJA Professional Blender? Hi-Ya! That thing scares me. Or how about the Shock Athletic 3mm yoga mat with Microban?

Santa would need to clear his mind after remembering that one.

Then there’s the “3D 1080p 240Hz LED Smart HDTV” or the “Samsung ST150 with Wi-Fi, 16.2MP and 5x optical zoom.” Just try asking for those. You’d be way over the allotted time.

My advice, clip a picture and show it to Santa. He has been around a long time, his hearing might be going. He can’t go wrong with a picture.

Why can’t things be simple? My husband calls everything a whatchamacallit and I always know exactly what he’s talking about.

I’m wishing for a few simple things. Peace, health, happiness and maybe a box of 100 assorted chocolates. Oh, and the Ulta 74 pc. Beauty Box Blockbuster. I want to look beautiful when I’m woofing down those bonbons!

Happy holidays! May your wish list be short and your happiness be long.

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