Cost Analysis

Long, cold summer ahead

June 10, 2014 

I need a cause.

I need issues and stories to write about. My motivation to write is heading for summer vacation and Fort Mill is still such a relatively tiny place that it may not have enough material to keep me going.

Sure, Fort Mill might be looking to annex things and grow its boundaries, which seems like a strange goal for a town that loves one-lane roads, even on supposed state-of-the art bypasses, but the York County side of the township is still small enough to allow a tower to sit in a state of decay for a quarter of a century.

I need some hubbub to stir the creative juices. Right now, they are as stagnant as traffic at the corner of Highway 160 and Gold Hill Road at rush hour. They are flowing like sludge, perhaps as if it is the waste leaked out along the shores of Lake Wylie. Maybe I need some out of the box thinking, but I was one of the unlucky billions who had to suffer through an entire school career without Common Core to teach me the skills needed to succeed. I plodded through years of repetitive math and read classic novels and never got so much as a participation medal for my troubles.

Why my self-esteem wasn’t lower than the local approval rating of the Common Core standards is a mystery to me.

I could probably use some competition to get me back on track, but the Knights have moved up I-77 and if I want to follow some youth tournaments, I’ll have to go to Rock Hill or Charlotte where they actually have most of the facilities that draw such events. I’m sure a concert or some firework blasts can lighten my mood, but the only place to do that anymore seems to be at Carowinds, where I can spend a small fortune to stand in long lines, buy overpriced food and wait until the end of an exhausted day before the festivities of song and explosions ring in my head.

Yeah, my mood is getting so much brighter.

The pitfalls of a little burg are sapping my energy. There hasn’t even been any political strife since former York County Councilman Paul Lindemann had his circus packed up and carted off in handcuffs. I’ll just have to take my glum attitude and make the best of it until we get bigger, you know, like when we clog our roads enough to make Atlanta proud and build a hospital where a peach orchard is best suited.

Somehow I don’t think it will be too long until I’m back in business.

You can reach Scott at costanalysiscolumn@gmail.com to bemoan writer’s block.

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